can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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