Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
