her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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