"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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