Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Couch. On fire.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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