Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
