Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
