I faked an abortion last night.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
