The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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