WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
