yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
sarcasm needs its own font
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
