I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We are all done wearing pants today
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
