She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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