We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it was like eating out sand paper
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
