Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
