Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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