never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
