the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
