K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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