I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
