the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
