He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
