I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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