wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
