Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Who died my cat blue again?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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