1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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