I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
