also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
