he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
