Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
