i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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