Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
