This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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