I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
