Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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