I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I need moral support for this bender
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i've created a new STD.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
