We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
