So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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