bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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