Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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