if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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