We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We have started to decorate penises.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Randomize
