dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
