Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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