His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I will pee on everything he values.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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