So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
