i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
