We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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