my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
