Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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