she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this will be a night to untag.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
