didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
