Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
