Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
