But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
