I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
